Life of a Sweet Witch

A while ago I had to write a fractured/postmodern fairytale. Basically my own version of Hansel and Gretel. At the time of writing I was doing BEDIM, so I took on the format of a blog and called it Life of a Sweet Witch. Now that I've got the assignment back, I can post it on here. I'm quite proud of my fairytale and my tutor said she loved it too.

*****

FAMINE

This famine is getting too much for me. The possibility of finding any animal worth eating is very slim during this winter. It’s also hard to find anyone to let me buy their food as most are scared of my red eyes. Hopefully things will get better.

A NEW HOME

A kind woman came along today. She told me of a house she had built for me, made of cake and sweets. But before she gave me the keys she made me promise one thing... to lure her step-children to my house and give them food. She explained how she had tried to get rid of them before by leaving them in the woods, but they had gone back home. I accepted her offer. As the winter should be letting up soon, I guess I can spare a few warm meals for her children. They could help me to hunt as I cannot do so properly with my poor eyesight.

STARVED

The children arrived today and they looked starved, the poor things. I gave them a good meal, but that used up the rest of my winter supplies. I have now put them to sleep, but I don’t know what to do now. I cannot keep this promise to their step-mother to keep them fed.

SURVIVAL

I have the solution. I don’t like it, but it is necessary for survival. I shall eat one of the children... the boy, Hansel. I think I shall fatten him up first, just so it is a better meal for the girl and I.

I HATE ME

The girl hates me. I don’t know how to explain our necessity nicely. The boy is now in a cage and his sister won’t stop crying. I hate me too, but what else is there to do?

GETTING HUNGRY

The boy isn’t getting fatter. Everyday I send out the girl to hunt and gather berries which I cook and give to him. He gets the best bits of food and yet he’s still thin. His sister and I are getting hungrier by the day as we usually go without a substantial amount of food. Perhaps we should just cook the boy and stop wasting our efforts on him.

NOTHING

I’m writing this from the country hospital’s ICU. I asked Gretel to make a fire and she tricked me into leaning over the flame. She pushed me in, freed her brother, stole my money and ran away. Luckily there was a hunter walking by who took care of my burns. Now I have nothing, especially since the weather has already started to wear away the house. Soon, I will be back to living in my house of sticks.

MEMORIES

The children came by today. They said they were sorry and that they understood I was just trying to survive. They offered me shelter with them in return to be their cook – their step-mother had passed away. I accepted. A home full of bad memories is better than no home at all. And memories can be forgotten.

*****

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

BEDIM Day 31

WOO! Last BEDIM post! Don't worry dear 2 followers, I will still blog at least once a week for y'all.

So last night's party was weird, but still pretty good. So it started off with a few of us sitting on a couch and when we went to get drinks, Raph introduced us to one of her Uni friends, James (again, why does everyone' name have to start with J?). HE WAS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF GRANT GUSTIN! But that was the last we saw of him for the whole night.

There was a really big cushiony sofa in one corner, and at the start of the night we named it the make-out corner. However, 30 minutes in, it was renamed at the corner for people to go and sit if they didn't want the music to be too loud. We sat there for about 2 hrs, just talking, taking weird pictures and eating... a lot of eating.

Next thing we did was to go out and dance a bit, and when we were going out we passed our ex-Vice Principal... because that's totally normal. She's Raph's brother's Godmother.

So after that we went to dance but the DJ was crap and kept playing songs that we couldn't dance to.

We then had birthday speeches which were made by a couple of our friends, and that no-one payed much attention to because it went for ages. Then it was one of her uncles which made a total parody of the speech which was awesome. And then there was Greek dancing, which is basically walking around really fancily in a circle. We didn't really get it at first, but then Ms. Hiotis (the ex-VP) came along and showed us how and it was pretty easy.

By the end of that it was 11.30 and I went home, although the party was meant to go until about 1... but I was tired and sick.... and today my voice and cough is even worse.

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

BEDIM Day 29

NERALY FINISHED THIS BEDIM THING!!! I WILL SOON HAVE MORE TIME TO DO OTHER PROCRASTINATING THINGS!

Basically, I have to go out tonight and therefore only have from now, 4.30 until about 6.00 to do one whole assignment. NOT GOOD.

Better get started.

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

BEDIM Day 28

So today there was a new guy at work. His name is Jack. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE A NAME STARTING WITH J!!!???

It was weird. I was there about 10 minutes before and I was walking above the shop. I looked down and was like, "There is a guy with spiky blond hair. Where's Jeff?" and it was really weird.

I have so much to do.
1. Make a menu
2. Make a survey
3. Write a play about the Carbon Tax
4. Make a playlist for my party
5. Write a 1000 word essay

Seems like a few little things, but they are going to take so much work. Better get started.

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

BEDIM Day 26

So today I had one of my assignments for Uni, where it was sort of peer assessed. We had to bring along 3 artefacts and tag them, so it was pretty good because the whoel class just decided to give each other 10's.

Then my friend Bec gave me her hard drive for the night, so I'm getting so many programs off her... mainly old Who, but it's still really good. I'm also going to be copying on Firefly and Dr Horrible and Chameleon Circuit and other awesome things. Really excited. SHE'S GONNA BE HOOKED!

My throat is also getting better. This morning it was horrible and I couldn't swallow properly, but now it's really good because (I think) an apple I ate was really sour and sour things usually help my throat. Also I've been drinking more today, as well as sucking on some Werthers. It's good.

I also found out today that Alex Day's signed Lady Godiva CD's will be shipped worlwide so YAY!

Oh, and I know it's late, but the BBC have now announced the new companion replacing the Ponds. I thought I recognised her, but it turns out that she hasn't been in anything I've seen which is weird.

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

BEDIM Day 25

So today I went to see The Hunger Games. SO GOOD! I think the main point of why it's so good is that Suzanne Collins had so much input into the movie. Just looking through the credits she was one of the screen writers as well as being an executive producer. I really want to read the books now. Hoepfully someone gets it for my birthday. I like presents :)

Anyway, today I woke up for work and my throat was so sore! It really annoys me because I haven't done anything bad to it. I mean, I've been drinking heaps of water... must be cold weather?

Tomorrow I have 3 assignments due. One of them is my education unit where I bring along some artefacts and tags, another is a research assignment which I've already submitted online, and the last is my bit for a group assignment.... yeahhhhh..... need to get on that. Luckily I have a few big breaks tomorrow, so I can use them, but still if I get organised right now I can get some of it done. So... here's me getting orgnised.

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

P.S. And may the odds be ever in your favour.

BEDIM Day 19

Yesterday I watched Dr Horrible on YouTube. IT’S SO GOOD! Captain Hammer’s a dick, but Penny and Dr Horrible are really cool. And the music is awesome too.

I realised yesterday, after I had written the post, that I hadn’t actually done one assignment. I thought I had, but I wrote on the wrong thing :( I was meant to write on Hansel and Gretel, but I wrote about 1500 words on Red Riding Hood instead. I was so annoyed with myself because I spent so much time on it. But at least I know now what to do.

Anyway, today is Monday which means that I have my education tute this afternoon. That class is so awesome. In the first week we got to draw with crayons and oil pastels, and last week we got to have a class outside.

Another thing I’m excited for is the Nerdfighter gathering on Sunday. Actually, I think I might be working, but I’ll see if I can work on Saturday like I did this past weekend. I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THE NERDFIGHTER GATHERING!!!!!

Hmmm… what else is awesome at the moment? OH I KNOW! Alex Day sent around an email to the Nermie Army, giving us instructions about Lady Godiva. That video is amazingly hilarious and brilliant at the same time. It’s truly awesome.

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

BEDIM Day 18

Yo dudes! How's it goin? Whatcha up to? I'm good, but a little tired.

I had a party last night which was much better than other parties. I thought it was going to be one of those ones where you sat around and did nothing, but PEOPLE ACTUALLY DANCED AT THIS PARTY! It made it really good and so much fun.

I've finally decided what to do for my own party... just not sure if I should have it or not. I want to have it, but my previous experiences of being a host have not been very good. It would be on the Easter weekend which is really good because it means that everyone has Uni off.

I did one of my assignments yesterday. So that's two down, four to go. I've done my artefact collecting and written my own version of Red Riding Hood. Now I have 2 science assignments, 1 survey and an essay to write. Hopefully tomorrow I can finish one of my science assignments in my breaks.

I want to tell you my favourite joke, as seen in a Hank Green VlogBrothers video:
What do you call a monkey that walks into a minefield? A BA-BOOM!!!

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

The World's Gone Mad

I wrote this on the first of November, so it's got a few non-currenet events. I didn't upload it because I didn't permit myself to go on the internet during my exam study. BUT NOW EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!

Today was the Melbourne Cup where Dunaden won by literally a centimetre. My horses, if anyone wants to know, came last and seventh. I don’t know if I’m jinxed or not, but one of my horses always comes last. I don’t bet in them of course, I’m too poor for that, and I probably will never bet on them if I am rich. Anyway, I was searching through my news feed about five hours later, and guess what? There was absolutely no mention of the Cup, or anything leading up to it. Instead it was filled with news that Kim Kardashian had split from her 72 day husband and was going to some down to Australia for the rebound. How idiotic! Firstly, my news feed might be a little slow, but still. And secondly, I don’t know much about the Kardashian’s – I find that the less I know the better my life is; I mean, just reading that article about her split was so brain numbing and boring. Now, that you know what I know, I have to ask, did no one else see this coming? I mean, sure it was called the “Hollywood Royal Wedding” and you’d expect that “royal” relationships would last a long time, but the fact that it was Hollywood... Did no-one expect it? Was it such a surprise? Is it so important that it has to clog up my news feed with ten million articles? Does the world need to know about her? Who really cares? What is she famous for anyway? As far as I know she’s just a reality TV star, and unless she’s gone on to do better things with her life, she deserves no attention. Why do we, as a world, embrace reality TV so much? Don’t get me wrong, I get sucked into reality TV too, but the shows I watch are things like Masterchef where you learn to cook, and So You Think You Can Dance where I was inspired to work out and become fit. Shows like The Hills, Big Brother, Jersey Shore, and other alike shows, have been banned from me for my parents. And I don’t hate them for it. I don’t want to follow people around while they start fights and/or sleep with other people. I’ll admit that I have watched things like Survivor in the past and found it entertaining, but at least they are being challenged on the show with things that involve some mental and/or physical exertion. The people on other reality shows, only get challenged to be douches and dickheads. The biggest challenge they would face that day is the choice to get drunk or not, or to sleep with someone or not. It’s pathetic.

OK, my second issue: QANTAS. QANTAS recently grounded all of their planes for a couple of days so that they could sort out what was happening with all the protests. I think that was a good move, but the media hates it. Sure it caused some inconvenience for a few days, but isn’t that better than strikes continuing on for years? Also, the passengers all got rescheduled or a refund! It’s fine! Sure some meeting may have been missed, but has the world not heard of Skype? Or an iPad? Also, the media have been hammering on about how Julia Gillard should have stepped in. Firstly, I’m not for Julia Gillard, but I’m not against her either, and I think that the media has been treating her unfairly on this matter. What can she do? What could she have done? She certainly couldn’t have stepped in. If she had made laws to combat the strikes, say a fine was imposed or something, people would just quit their jobs or cop the fine and keep protesting. She couldn’t possible do anything. It was not her fault, but QANTAS. Tony Abbott is not any better than her either. He says that Julia Gillard should have taken action. In other words, he was standing back and laughing at her. If he really cared about stopping the situation being stopped, he would have said, “She needs to step in and control the situation by doing this...” not, “She needs to step in and take action.” WHAT ACTION ABBOTT? WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE? WOULD YOU AND YOUR BUDGIE SMUGGLERS HAVE COPED WITH THIS, THIS WELL? And the simple answer is, no, he wouldn’t have.

A third issue that’s really bugging me is Michael Jackson’s doctor. I JUST DON’T CARE ANY MORE! LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO HIS MUSIC IN PEACE WITHOUT THINKING HOW HE DIED! Sure there are still people out there who care, such as his family, and it should be kept private to them. YOU HEAR THAT MEDIA!? PRIVATE! Also, stop calling him MJ. It’s annoying me.

Now I’m going to get heaps of hater comments. But I stand by what I said. In a quick summary:

·         Watching people get drunk and sleep with others on TV is stupid

·         I saw the divorce coming

·         Julia Gillard is not to blame for the QANTAS mess up

·         QANTAS is to blame for the QANTAS mess up

·         Michael Jackson’s doctor’s actions should be kept private

Until Next Time, Adios Amigos!

My first post...

Well hello there! (Actually since I have no followers yet I'm just kind of posting to myself... but anyway) ...

My first post... what to say? Well I'll introduce myself. My name is Lian (pronounced Li-Anne) and I am a 17 year old living in Australia. I am in year 12 (yikes!) and taking (in order of preference) Maths Methods, Classics, Literature, Accounting and Specialist Maths. As a side note, SPECIALIST MUST DIE!!!

I have an amazing group of friends, who I have been with for a long time. My family is pretty cool too. My cousins are the funniest people ever and my sister and I get along better than most siblings. My parents are kind of strict, but hey, they're good when it comes down to the crunch.

I have a passion, no a love, for Doctor Who. Of course there will always be a better alternative for some people, but I don't really see how they could think that Tw*light is better than it. Glee, yeah perhaps, but most definitely not Tw*light. And I love The Mighty Boosh too. It's so random and so crazy that I just get addicted. On another side note: I'M OLD GREGG!!!!!!! I GOT A MANGINA!!!!! ... Ahhh, I love Boosh

My taste in music can be quite strange. I often don't listen to Top 40 songs, but there are some artists that I absolutely adore. P!nk, Avril Lavigne, Kate Miller-Heidke and Eliza Doolittle are my favourite artists. Yes, I know that they are all female, so I'll give you some of my favourite male artists: Joshua Radin, Newton Faulkner and Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls. Yes, that last one is a Wizard Rock band, but that's how I roll. Oh, and Chameleon Circuit the Trock band.

There is one thing that I might possibly love more than Doctor Who, although it does branch off it. I love The Ood Cast. If you haven't heard it, I demand you now go to http://www.theoodcast.com/ and listen to their podcast or read their blog or look at their Ood Castoons. They are seriously a talented bunch of people and I am always looking out for a new entry in their blog so I can freak out and do my happy dance (yes, I have a happy dance).

One thing you have to know about me is how random I can be, hence the name, "Random Wibble". I like to just put my thoughts out there to the world, and sometimes they may not make much sense. But it's fun to do. I like to think of it as be being weird, and my best friend and I always say that it's better to be weird than normal.

That's it for now I think. I'll be sure to post back in again soon. I don' know when, but I'll try and write a new feature piece every week. The entries will vary from poems, FanFiction (including one I should finish soon about who River Song is because it will be revealed in a few weeks) (and yes, I am one of those people ... I told you, I'm obsessed) and Random Wibble, although I'm sure you would have guessed that last one by now.

Until next time, Adios Amigos!